My sweet baby Vi…
There is a storm brewing outside. I saw a flash of lighting out of the corner of my eye and heard the thunder a couple seconds after.
A year ago we were having the same weather… but a year ago there was a storm raging in my body as well. Sweet baby… when you decided you were ready to come out and meet us, you weren’t messing around! We made it to the hospital just in time. And trust me when I say – it was a noisy, bumpy, and wet ride to get there. I moaned and hummed through my rapidly intensifying contractions and kept the windows of the jeep open despite the pouring rain. I somehow managed to walk from the hospital parking lot (there was no way I was letting your dad drop me off to go park, I didn’t want to be left alone!) to the main entrance… I must have been quite the sight to behold with my enormous belly, sopping wet… and in pretty incredible pain! It was my most dramatic labour by far… like something out of a movie. And then they asked me to pee in a cup –
I’m still not sure how I managed to do what they asked, but less than 20 minutes after that, I was holding you in my arms.
And today… a year has already passed. A year… already… wow. Where. Does. The. Time. Go?
When I look back over the past year, it makes sense. It hasn’t been a slow or boring year. We haven’t had very many dull moments… in fact; between you, your sisters and the other things we make time for… we’ve done so much in the last 12 months.
Still… I kind of wish I could freeze time for a little while and remain where we are right now. Enjoying the beautiful summer together… watching you take little steps towards being more independent… seeing your personality bloom and getting to know you more and more. Snuggling,cuddling, giggling… and sometimes cringing… as you discover and learn more and more about us and the world around you.
I LOVE YOU BABY GIRL. I love everything about you. I love…
… how much you love me (your “Mama-mameeee”).
… how you have started to dance or bob your head when you hear music.
… the big smiles that you give me when I go into your room when you wake up.
… how you plunge your little body into the cool pool water without fear (though frankly your scare me a little) even though you hated taking baths for so long.
… watching you realize that you’re making your sisters or us laugh… and repeating what you’ve done to get more laughs.
… when you try to laugh… just because everyone else is.
…how pleasant, sweet, peaceful and calm you are (for the most part)…
…how you’ve become so much more social these last couple of months.
…watching you wrestle with Quinn (the puppy)… hearing your squeal if you get a peek of Reggie (the old grumpy cat)…
…how everything seems to be a “baby” right now. Babies, pictures, paintings…
…how you know… you just know… when there’s a treat to be had (cake, muffins, ice cream) and you just start saying “mumumumumum, aaaah?” licking your lips, opening your mouth wide, asking to have some too.
…cuddling you and holding your soft head of hair to my cheek.
…watching you learn how to do new things… like pushing the stool to help you walk… shoveling cheerios into your mouth with a spoon… drinking from a straw…
… and I love… that even when we’ve had a rough day… I can hold you close and cuddle you as you drift to sleep at the end of the day.
I cannot imagine our family without you. I think you were always meant to come along and “complete” the picture for me. Though I would not say that you have emptied me of my energy for little ones (… I honestly love the baby phase and will miss it…) – I am not sad as I realize that I’m done having babies. I am content. I happy. I am beyond blessed to have THREE funny, quirky, witty and beautiful little girls. This is one thing I don’t have to overthink!
So… dear Violet… on your first birthday (and always) I want to make a promise to love you – no matter what. I promise to do my very best to be a good great mother for you. I promise to make every effort not to baby you too much (even though I’m convinced I’ll always see you just like I see you today). To be stern when it is needed, soft when it is needed. I promise to do what I can to help you become a strong and independent woman, capable and equipped to make your own choices and decisions. I promise to try very hard not to let things slip (you’re no less important because you’re the third one!). And I promise to do my best and to make you and your sisters… and your dad (of course) my priority.
Happy Birthday Violet.