If I take a moment to dive into my memories, I can remember the morning that I took my first maternity test. Barely an hour earlier, I had sleepily discouraged B from carrying his cell phone to work that day – after all I had cramps all night and I was sure my period would finally arrive later that morning.
Once I finally crawled out of bed and padded to the bathroom down the hall, I opened the box and read the instructions. How was I going to do this without peeing on my hand? Unsure… I grabbed a cup and positioned myself. I set the cup on the counter and stuck the end of the test into it – fully expecting to have to wait a few minutes “like on television” and not at all expecting a positive result. Barely 5 seconds later, I was staring at two little pink lines – and with a nervous laugh, I knew my life (and body!) would never be the same again. I had no idea.
The following April, I held my little girl in my arms for the very first time. I remember thinking (and saying) “I have a baby… oh my goodness… I have a baby” as I stared at her, her spiky dark hair, her full lips and her blue eyes.
Four years later, I can’t believe how fast time goes by, how quickly a mother can forget so much of what once was, or how different (and incredible) life is with children in it.
My little sweetie…. at four, you seem so old. If I were to describe you in one word, it would have to be “passionate” – because that is how you approach everything – with passion, excitement and curiosity. At four, you truly seem to love life. It’s incredible to watch you, as you learn, as you anticipate, as you remember and understand; as you run ahead or hug your sister, draw pictures of the family and do things “by yourself”. You are beautiful and you are sweet… but you are also strong-willed (which is sometimes frustrating, but will serve you well as you grow up). You have no idea how much I love you… and look forward to watching you slowly and surely become the amazing girl and woman who I know you are meant to be.
Je t’adore Layla.
Happy Birthday sweetie.