Four years… (1)

If I take a moment to dive into my memories, I can remember the morning that I took my first maternity test. Barely an hour earlier, I had sleepily discouraged B from carrying his cell phone to work that day – after all I had cramps all night and I was sure my period would finally arrive later that morning.

Once I finally crawled out of bed and padded to the bathroom down the hall, I opened the box and read the instructions. How was I going to do this without peeing on my hand? Unsure… I grabbed a cup and positioned myself. I set the cup on the counter and stuck the end of the test into it – fully expecting to have to wait a few minutes “like on television” and not at all expecting a positive result. Barely 5 seconds later, I was staring at two little pink lines – and with a nervous laugh, I knew my life (and body!) would never be the same again. I had no idea.

The following April, I held my little girl in my arms for the very first time. I remember thinking (and saying) “I have a baby… oh my goodness… I have a baby” as I stared at her, her spiky dark hair, her full lips and her blue eyes.

Four years later, I can’t believe how fast time goes by, how quickly a mother can forget so much of what once was, or how different (and incredible) life is with children in it.

Dear Layla,

My little sweetie…. at four, you seem so old. If I were to describe you in one word, it would have to be “passionate” – because that is how you approach everything – with passion, excitement and curiosity. At four, you truly seem to love life. It’s incredible to watch you, as you learn, as you anticipate, as you remember and understand; as you run ahead or hug your sister, draw pictures of the family and do things “by yourself”. You are beautiful and you are sweet… but you are also strong-willed (which is sometimes frustrating, but will serve you well as you grow up). You have no idea how much I love you… and look forward to watching you slowly and surely become the amazing girl and woman who I know you are meant to be.

Je t’adore Layla.

Happy Birthday sweetie.


One thought on “Four years… (1)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s