Am I restless?

At least three people have told me that I’m “restless” over the last couple of months.

At first I was kind of offended… not I’m starting to think they must be on to something.

Am I restless because I…

  • want to move forward in my career? but also want the time to enjoy my young children?
  • want to experience life “differently”, through travel or better yet, living and working in another country?
  • can’t decide if I want another baby, to change jobs, change homes, etc…?
  • want my life and my work to mean something? make a difference for someone?
  • have big dreams? can imagine a completely different life?
  • want to be admired and respected? (alright, there’s a little narcissism there, but… it’s the truth)

And if I am restless… then is it a bad thing?

I don’t know.

I do know that I had very specific ideas of where I planned to be before turning 30. I know that those plans were changed slightly when “surprise”, I was pregnant. As a young mom, I adore my girls but I no longer believe that you can do everything and be everything – a great mom, a successful professional, a loving wife and home-maker, a devout christian, a good daughter, sister, friend… There simply aren’t enough hours in a day. Let me rephrase… I may be good at all those things (or a few of those thing), but inevitably, when I try to be everything, something suffers, something falls through the cracks.

Maybe I’m just being cynical. Some moms out there certainly seem to be able to do it all.

Not this woman though. Despite the many “helps” I have…  

It certainly helps me to have a husband who actively participates in the home and child raising. I don’t know how some women can do it on their own and my hat goes off to them for their perserverance, patience and strength.

It also helps to work in an environment where family values are respected and where there is flexibility.

And it helps to take the time to celebrate my personal and/or professional achievements – big and small. 

Regardless, I somehow come out feeling like I’m still climbing a mountain, but I can’t see the summit. I don’t even have a map. How do I know I’m going the right way?

Sigh.

Restless, huh?  

So what’s the cure for restlessness?

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4 thoughts on “Am I restless?

  1. oh my goodness, can I ever relate to this right now… I keep thinking it’ll get better in the summer – fresh air, more time out of the house, etc… but I literally feel like I’m going to jump out of my skin sometimes… I’m also purposing to celebrate all the goodness in my life and focus on my blessings 🙂

    • Elena, I’m totally with you on just trying to celebrate the blessing and the good in my life. I have so much to be thankful for and I tend to lose perspective sometimes when I start wondering if there’s “more”… A. Summer will definitely help 🙂

  2. 1. Stop and think
    2. Restate the basics
    3. Place the problem in context
    4. Wait on the Lord’s direction

    I remember many years ago when I was about your age, and felt like there was so much more I could be doing; seeking to push myself further – to be the “perfect person in every situtation” and feeling I was”missing the mark”.
    Others around me seemed to have it so much more “together”.
    I joined a mom’s Bible study group and in getting to know some of those “together” moms better, realized we were all similar though our exact circumstances differed. We all had expectations and dreams, some realiatic – others not. Through those friendships I learned some of the values of relaxing and appreciating and enjoying the many precious people and circumstances in my life and to K.I.S.S.
    Even the “hostess with the most-ess uses KD occassionally”

    • It’s funny – a few people have said the same type of thing to me over the last couple of days. That what I’m going through is not that unique and that the questions that I am asking are not so unlike any other woman – at any other age. We all have our good (even great) days and weeks, but most of us have plenty of moments where we question our choices – right or wrong – and wonder if there’s something more we should/could be doing. My motto (for today… for this week… hopefully longer) is to do my best to enjoy the journey where I am now. Someone said to me yesterday… it’s still about enjoying the journey – there are just more passengers (and more pee stops) now that we’re parents too. A.

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